"It's not my wife's issue that needs my attention, love and effort it's my wife who does. My wife doesn't need to be fixed...instead her longing for me to be invested into her life, to share in her burdens and to truly know her...needs to be fulfilled."This video was sent to me today by a good friend. Of course men and women can both watch this video and find the humor in it, but something much deeper hit me today after watching the video and I'd like to share my thoughts with you.
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give our wife is to simply invest into her and truly know her.I have a lot left to learn in this area. I will typically try to look at facts, analyze them and seek a solution...that's my nature, but it's not always helpful. I grew up with three women in my house. I learned a lot in those years. I also have been married for thirteen years and one thing that I have learned for certain (albeit the hard way) over that period of time is that women don't always deal in black and white. Although this is strange to me...in reality this is wonderful news, because women have the ability to see things in ways that most men never would be able to without their perspective and insight. This is without question one of the ways that my wife has been designed by God to complement me. We are truly better, together.
After watching the video above I have a new goal for my week ahead...and hopefully in the weeks to follow. I want to be more intentional about simply listening to my wife and trying to know her on deeper levels than I have in a long, long time. I'm praying that in doing so she will see that I'm invested in her as a person and not simply trying to "fix her problems" and move on to the next task on the list. She isn't a task. Spending time with my wife isn't something that I do out of duty or obligation, but instead is something I do because I love her and it brings me a great deal of pleasure. Is this selfish of me? I don't think so. When we spend time listening to our wives and we give them the freedom to simply be themselves...I think we will show them the kind of love they desire and we will eventually fill their hearts with joy in the process. They will be blessed and we will be blessed as well. That, in essence, is the point of the relationship.
God doesn't love us because we are put together and have a good handle on all our problems. Instead, he loves us because he is invested into our lives and he cares deeply about us because we are his unique and beautiful creations. He loves us in spite of our imperfections and because of his patience, long suffering and grace...over time we willingly submit to his efforts to shape and mold us into the people he created and desires for us to be. He doesn't impatiently point out our failures so he can move on to his next project. He invests into us eternally, allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal to us where we need to grow. If we were to love our wives in this way, I can all but guarantee we would see a difference in them as well as their responses to us.
The only question left to ask ourselves, is this:
"Are we willing to invest into the life of our wife...in the way that Christ has invested into ours?"
Ephesians 5:25-27 (ESV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV) - (emphasis mine)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love the woman in your life well, that by your efforts God may be glorified, your wife (or girlfriend) may be honored and you may be blessed.
Jason
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