Marriage is Primarily About Jesus

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. | Colossians 1:16-17 (ESV)

Jesus. The Cure for Addiction.

"When Jesus becomes your treasure, nothing else will ever satisfy you again."

How do you overcome a pornography addiction? Believe it or not, it's not by finding the perfect method to modify your behavior. It really comes down to one simple thing...finding your satisfaction in Jesus Christ.

When we love Jesus more than ourselves, we begin to develop a love for the things he loves and a hatred for the things that he hates. This will include the sins that we have been enslaved to for years or even decades. The liberty Christ offers to us isn't simply the ability to remove sin from our lives. It's far greater than that brothers. Jesus not only helps remove the worldly pleasures that we have so easily accepted and settled for, he also fills those voids with what we were created to find our ultimate satisfaction in, namely himself.

If you truly desire to be set free from the chains of addiction...don't focus your attention on the behavior itself but instead invest your time, energy, and effort into Jesus Christ. When Jesus becomes your treasure, nothing else will ever satisfy you again.

It is Christ Who Gives Us Strength.

In his book, True Community, Jerry Bridges points out that: 

"The difference between “Lord help me” and “Lord enable me” is a matter of partial trust in our self-efforts versus total reliance on Christ.” 

Paul tells the Church in Philippians 4:13 (ESV), “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” He doesn’t say I can do some things in my own strength and others in the strength the Lord provides me. He doesn't say with my own abilities and Christ's help I can do all things. Instead, he gives credit for his ability to do all things to the one who strengthens him.

For His Glory,

Jason

Don't Settle for Counterfeit Fulfillment

This [boredom] is why people are so prone to an addictive lifestyle. Many people who fall into sinful addictions are people who were once terminally bored. The reason why addictions are so powerful is that they tap into that place in our hearts that was made for transcendent communion and spiritual romance. These addictive habits either dull and deaden our yearnings for a satisfaction we fear we’ll never find or they provide an alternative counterfeit fulfillment that we think will bring long-term happiness, counterfeits like cocaine, overeating, illicit affairs, busyness, efficiency, image, or obsession with physical beauty. They all find their power in the inescapable yearning of the human heart to be fascinated and pleased and enthralled. Our hearts will invariably lead us either to the fleeting pleasures of addiction or to God. | Sam Storms

Have We Forgotten How to Blush?

I'm back from vacation and I am catching up on my Bible reading program. I came across a section of Jeremiah today, which brought me back to the first time I really read (and understood) it. Almost as if it was yesterday, I can still remember how this section of scripture hit me like a ton of bricks...like a punch to the stomach from Mike Tyson. The reality for Israel (as well as people today) is they became so comfortable and used to their sin, that they forget how to blush.

Jeremiah 6:13-15 (ESV)

“For from the least to the greatest of them,
everyone is greedy for unjust gain;
and from prophet to priest,
everyone deals falsely.
They have healed the wound of my people lightly,
saying, ‘Peace, peace,’
when there is no peace.
Were they ashamed when they committed abomination?
No, they were not at all ashamed;
they did not know how to blush.
Therefore they shall fall among those who fall;
at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,”
says the Lord. 

Questions that deserve answers:

- Just like the prophets and priests of Israel, where is our embarrassment and shame about our own sin?
- Why can we so flippantly wear our sin around our necks, like a badge of honor, joking with our friends about choices we've made and things we've done which (as professing Christians) we should be embarrassed by.
- Why do we swat away, like a pesky fly buzzing around our food, the Holy Spirit's conviction...without taking even a moment to consider the damage we are causing by being so dismissive about our sin.
- Why have we lost our ability to see the reality of what sin is doing to us and to our lives, and worse yet...what our sin already cost our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ?
- Why does it seem that we we are more concerned with how our sin affects/hurts other people (i.e. our family, friends, co-workers etc) or selfishly: how the consequences of our sin affects us (i.e. feeling sorry for ourselves) and yet we give so little regard to the fact that the most disastrous part of sin is that (as R.C. Sproul puts) it is cosmic treason.

"Even the slightest sin that a creature commits against his Creator does violence to the Creator’s holiness, His glory, and His righteousness. Every sin, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is an act of rebellion against the sovereign God who reigns and rules over us and as such is an act of treason against the cosmic King." | R.C. Sproul

Wake Up:

Isn't it time for us to wake up from our slumber? Isn't it time that we start to think biblically about sin? Put aside, just for a moment, how sin may affect other people. While the horizontal effects of sin are important, there is something much more devastating when it comes to the eternal significance of our sin, namely that unrepentant and habitual sin is what makes us enemies of God? (James 4:1-6)

Examine Yourselves:

The apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!"

"The truly loving child of God, though he knows sin is there, hates that sin; it is a pain and misery to him, and he never makes the corruption of his heart as an excuse for the corruption of his life; he never pleads the evil of his nature, as an apology for the evil of his conduct. If any man can, in the least degree, clear himself from the conviction of his own conscience, on account of his daily failings, by pleading the evil of his heart, he is not one of the broken-hearted children of God; he is not one of the tried servants of the Lord, for they groan concerning sin, and carry it to God’s throne; they know it is in them – they do not, therefore, leave it, but seek with all their minds to keep it down, In order that it may not rise and carry them away." | C.H. Spurgeon

I pray that as professing Christians, we will truly understand the significance of our sin. We can't afford to take this subject lightly. Yes, Jesus Christ paid the price for sin on the cross, but that was not so people could make a mockery out of Him by the way they choose to live their lives. We must examine ourselves and our hearts, to see if we are truly in the faith. If a person is not (by the power of the Holy Spirit) making war against the sin in their life....like it or not...they very easily might be heading towards eternal damnation. If a person cherishes their sin more than they cherish Christ, then the writing is already on the wall. “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and [sin]."

The Christian walk (i.e. discipleship) does cost us something, In fact, it costs us everything. Jesus said, "therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple." We must do all we can to ensure we are not being fooled by false and misleading doctrine. The cost of true discipleship is very significant. However, what is gained by renouncing everything we have, will last for eternity. (Luke 14:25-33)

One of my favorite authors on the deadly effects of sin is John Owen. In his work, The Mortification of Sin, he said the following:

“Let no man pretend to fear sin that does not fear temptation also! These two are too closely united to be separated. He does not truly hate the fruit who delights in the root.” | John Owen

“Do you make [killing sin in your life] your daily work? Be always at it whilst you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you” | John Owen

For His Glory,

Jason

Fathers Are in the Instruction Business

"God has charged fathers with the responsibility to raise their children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers and fathers are not primarily caregivers. They are the holy representatives of the God of Creation to their children. The father’s authority is not authority that has been given to him by the state. The father’s authority is mandated by God and derived from God." | Jay Younts

Read more [ HERE ]

She Desires to Be Fulfilled, Not Fixed.

"It's not my wife's issue that needs my attention, love and effort it's my wife who does. My wife doesn't need to be fixed...instead her longing for me to be invested into her life, to share in her burdens and to truly know her...needs to be fulfilled."

It's Not About the Nail from Jason Headley on Vimeo.

This video was sent to me today by a good friend. Of course men and women can both watch this video and find the humor in it, but something much deeper hit me today after watching the video and I'd like to share my thoughts with you.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give our wife is to simply invest into her and truly know her. 

I have a lot left to learn in this area. I will typically try to look at facts, analyze them and seek a solution...that's my nature, but it's not always helpful. I grew up with three women in my house. I learned a lot in those years. I also have been married for thirteen years and one thing that I have learned for certain (albeit the hard way) over that period of time is that women don't always deal in black and white. Although this is strange to me...in reality this is wonderful news, because women have the ability to see things in ways that most men never would be able to without their perspective and insight. This is without question one of the ways that my wife has been designed by God to complement me. We are truly better, together.

After watching the video above I have a new goal for my week ahead...and hopefully in the weeks to follow. I want to be more intentional about simply listening to my wife and trying to know her on deeper levels than I have in a long, long time. I'm praying that in doing so she will see that I'm invested in her as a person and not simply trying to "fix her problems" and move on to the next task on the list. She isn't a task. Spending time with my wife isn't something that I do out of duty or obligation, but instead is something I do because I love her and it brings me a great deal of pleasure. Is this selfish of me? I don't think so. When we spend time listening to our wives and we give them the freedom to simply be themselves...I think we will show them the kind of love they desire and we will eventually fill their hearts with joy in the process. They will be blessed and we will be blessed as well. That, in essence, is the point of the relationship.

God doesn't love us because we are put together and have a good handle on all our problems. Instead, he loves us because he is invested into our lives and he cares deeply about us because we are his unique and beautiful creations. He loves us in spite of our imperfections and because of his patience, long suffering and grace...over time we willingly submit to his efforts to shape and mold us into the people he created and desires for us to be. He doesn't impatiently point out our failures so he can move on to his next project. He invests into us eternally, allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal to us where we need to grow. If we were to love our wives in this way, I can all but guarantee we would see a difference in them as well as their responses to us.

The only question left to ask ourselves, is this:

"Are we willing to invest into the life of our wife...in the way that Christ has invested into ours?"

Ephesians 5:25-27 (ESV)

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV) - (emphasis mine)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  

Love the woman in your life well, that by your efforts God may be glorified, your wife (or girlfriend) may be honored and you may be blessed.

For His Glory,

Jason

No Plan B - On Discipleship.

What Does God Exalt Above All Other Things?

"...you [God] have exalted above all things your name and your word."

Psalm 138. It's short, but the truth wrapped into this Psalm is wonderful. I think the entire Psalm is wonderful, but I've emphasized the parts which stuck out to me the most. I praise God for his word. His living, breathing and spiritually active word!!!

Q. If God exalts his name and his word above all things, then why is it so seldom that his people and churches do the same?


A. I think that generally speaking it's much easier (and more comfortable) for us to put value in some of the other attributes of God (i.e. his love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, faithfulness etc.) God's word says some hard and challenging things. Things that as individuals we will not always like. Things that for a church body will be challenging and difficult. Things that the culture in which we live, will be opposed to and will sometimes even hate. I think it's pretty easy, if we don't put value in God's word, to say, yes I know that such-and-such is a sin...but God is loving and his love covers a multitude of sins. While this statement is certainly true...a side-effect of this kind of thinking is that we tend to become complacent and apathetic to God's word, which this Psalm clearly tells us is one of the (2) things that God exalts above all other things. God cares about his glory. He cares about his reputation and how his name is glorified. Why? Is it because he's an egomaniac? No...it's because he knows the true condition of our hearts. If we are honest with ourselves, the reason that we typically run towards words like forgiveness, mercy, grace etc. is because we are sinners and those words bring us comfort. But God is Holy, He is Just and He is Righteous. Why do we find it so easy to disregard God's command for us to "Be Holy as [He] is Holy" (Lv. 20:26) when His Holiness is an equal part of God's character to his love, mercy, grace and forgiveness.

I believe we do a serious disservice to ourselves and others (both inside and outside the church) when we fail to acknowledge that the thing which God loves most is not us, but is instead his own glory. God alone is great and he alone deserves honor, glory and praise...and I believe that as Christians and as a church we need to start putting the same kind of significance, reverence and exaltation towards His word and His Name that he does.

Psalm 138 (ESV)

Give Thanks to the LORD:

I give you thanks, O LORD, with my whole heart;
before the gods I sing your praise;
I bow down toward your holy temple
and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.
All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O LORD,
for they have heard the words of your mouth,
and they shall sing of the ways of the LORD,
for great is the glory of the LORD.
For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly,
but the haughty he knows from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
and your right hand delivers me.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.


For His Glory,

Jason

More is at Stake Than We Know

I encourage you to be like a dolphin in the sea of our egalitarian, gender-leveling culture. Don’t
be like a jellyfish. The ocean of secularism that we swim in (including much of the church) drifts
toward minimizing serious differences between manhood and womanhood. The culture swings
back and forth as to whether women are mainly sex objects or senior vice presidents. But rarely
does it ponder the biblical vision that men are called to humbly lead and protect and provide, and
women are called to come in alongside with their unique gifts and strengths and help the men
carry through the vision.

I pray that you will be stirred up by Ruth and Boaz to pursue mature manhood and womanhood.
More is at stake than we know. God has made marriage the showcase of his covenant love
where the husband models Christ and the wife models the Church (Ephesians 5:21–33).

John Piper - Pursue Mature Manhood and Womanhood

The Mystery of Marriage

Take the mystery of marriage. In Genesis 2:24, right after the account of how woman was created, Moses (the writer of Genesis) says, “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Now when the apostle Paul quotes this verse in Ephesians 5:31, he says, “This is a great mystery, and I say it refers to Christ and the church.” And, with that as his clue, he unfolds the meaning of marriage: it’s a symbol of Christ’s love for the church represented in the husband’s loving headship toward his wife; and it’s a symbol of the church's glad submission to Christ represented in the wife’s relation to her husband. | John Piper - Male and Female He Created Them in the Image of God

Some Thoughts on Idolatry

“All the sin that men commit is what they do in the service of their idols: there is no one act of sin, but what is an act of service to some false god.” | Jonathan Edwards -- Men are Naturally God’s Enemy

Idols are our functional saviors, or to say this differently idols are what we use in our lives to supplement (or replace) the living and true God. We use our idols to save us from the realities of life in a sinful and fallen world. They offer us pleasure, distraction, hope and other benefits but the interesting thing about idols is that they cannot deliver on these promises. Regardless of this fact, people still rely on idols and their false promises, anyway.

Tim Keller says the following about idols:

"Idols are often good things. That's right, I'm not talking about little statues we bow down to each morning. I'm referring to normal every day things which function as gods in our lives. They have our allegiance and we rest our sense of security on them. As John Calvin noted, our hearts are factories of idols. Not that we create idols, but we turn good things into idols. The problem is not “out there”, but “in here” [our hearts]."

Take a look at Genesis 1:26-31. This is a story of creation [before the fall]. These verses show us how God created everything, including man and woman...and then gave Adam and Eve dominion over all creation and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth and subdue it. God did this both for their joy and for his glory.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Genesis 1:26-31 (ESV)

But now the bad news. Because of sin, even the things which God gave to mankind for our joy are now often times turned into idols instead. We see a number functional saviors in the verses from Genesis above and the sad reality about idols is that instead of bringing people the joy which they were created to find in God's provisions and blessings...they instead begin to entrap or enslave people and keep them from experiencing true joy.

Here are a few functional saviors (idols) found in the verses in Genesis:

Religion: We see in these verses that God blessed Adam and Eve, he had a relationship with them, and they saw value in their relationship with God. But sin destroyed their relationship and sin's destructive nature is still destroying our relationships with God, today. People make efforts to replace a genuine relationship with God with something else. Religion is a great substitute…where true connection with and faith in God are replaced by our leanings towards ritual and legalism which can provide us with a false sense of assurance.

Marriage: Marriage is also a favorite idol for many people. We see in the Gen. 1:26-27 how God created and then blessed the bond between man and woman. However, many people today don’t see marriage as a way to glorify God and instead look to marriage to become a refuge from loneliness, economic insecurity and hopelessness. Single people often think that life would be tolerable if they were married and many married people live in fear of their marriages ending so they don’t take the necessary steps to make that relationship healthier and more godly. And to some, marriage -- which was ordained by God as a covenant between a male and a female -- has become another way for people to rebel against God's holy design for this sacred relationship.

Sex: We live in a culture that has, without question, turned sex into an idol. God divinely connected sex to marriage…but it has been disconnected from marriage by humanity. People think that sex will offer them enough pleasure to overcome the pain and/or boredom of their lives. People think sex will offer them  intimacy, but they forsake its intended intimacy through perversions and objectification of various kinds. And the sad reality is that sex, outside of God’s divine plan, often destroys the very relationships people so desperately desire.

Children: Also connected to marriage by God, and increasingly disconnected from marriage by people, are children. God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, but this was always intended to happen within the confines of a marriage relationship. Apart from children being born outside of the marriage covenant, many parents today also seek love from (rather than giving love to) their children. They seek to fulfill their own failed goals through their children lives and by doing so they place intolerable burdens on their children, destroying them as a result.

Control: God commanded that Adam and Eve subdue and have dominion over creation. However, this was always supposed to happen under God’s authority. Instead, we try to play God and make everything bend to our authority. Because of sin, we crave control (Genesis 3:16). Fear drives many of these efforts as we feel unable to handle unexpected events or circumstances which fall outside the realm of our “control”. Control destroys relationships. Control is fueled by pride and our resistance to trust God. We were created to be dependent but sin drives us towards independence and control.

Creation: Because of sin, people often make a god out of God’s creation. People begin to worship the created things instead of the creator (Romans 1:25). Sin causes our idol making hearts to twist God’s command of stewardship for his creation into a neo-environmentalism, where the environment and/or animals become more important than people made in God’s image. People often times look to their pets to fill the desire of their hearts for God's unconditional love. No doubt we are commanded to care for the environment and animals, including our pets, but unfortunately many people give these things an ungodly and unhealthy status in their lives.

Work: is another functional savior for many people. Sin entices people to seek independence, security and safety through their work. For many, work provides an ultimate meaning for them that only God was intended to have. God works, and he calls us to work as a means of providing for our families and ourselves.  However, God never intended for us to work as a means of obtaining our righteousness or self-worth. We were created to have our identities firmly-rooted in Christ, not our personal accomplishments, achievements or recognition.

“A true hope looks forward to the obtaining of happiness in no other way but the way of the gospel, which is by a holy Savior, and in a way of cleaving to and following him.” | Jonathan Edwards in Charity and Its Fruits

As the verses we read in Genesis show us, all created things were given to Adam and Eve (and us) by God and he called them very good (Genesis 1:31). However, because of sin, we continue to elevate created things to inappropriate levels in our lives. Instead of receiving these things as blessings and pointers to God…we instead put them in the place of God in hopes that they will provide us satisfaction, security, pleasure and even salvation. Anything that has become a functional savior in our lives will only be returned to its rightful and godly place if we make efforts to seek & find our significance, meaning, security and satisfaction in Christ alone. This will only happen if we choose to believe in the supremacy and sufficiency of Christ as both Creator and Redeemer. As Jonathan Edwards argues, “only when we see Christ as sufficient to bestow all the happiness we need, will we forsake other means to secure earthly happiness.”


Some more (audio) resources on Idols:

http://www.1031sermonjams.com/media/idols.mp3

http://www.1031sermonjams.com/media/americasidols.mp3