Husbands: Your Love is Your Reward

Husbands, your reward for loving your wife well is not how she chooses to respond to you in return; on the contrary, your love for her is your reward!

God's word tells husbands to "love [their] wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25). And here is the good news;

God gives husbands the grace they need, to love their wives as Christ loves his church. 

Therefore, it is in this exchange—God giving a husband grace the husband giving his wife love—that a husband will find his ultimate reward. If this reasoning seems circular, that's because it's intended to be. As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him."

If your hope (in loving your wife) centers on God's expectation of you instead of your expectation of your wife, you will find joy in loving your wife, regardless how she chooses to act towards you, in return. #GrowOn #LoveWell

Marriage is Primarily About Jesus

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. | Colossians 1:16-17 (ESV)

The Eternal Significance of Family Worship

"The Christian family was the bulwark of godliness in the days of the Puritans; but in these evil times hundreds of families of so-called Christians have no family worship, no restraint upon growing sons, and no wholesome instruction or discipline.  See how the families of many professors are as dressy, as godless as the children of the non-religious!  How can we hope to see the Kingdom of our Lord advance when His own disciples do not teach His gospel to their own sons and daughters?" | C. H. Spurgeon

Men, I'm going to ask you a challenging question? What are you doing to intentionally protect family worship in your home? 

It's interesting to me, to see that the trivialization of the Christian family was already an issue in England in the 1800's when C.H. Spurgeon penned the statement above. Sadly, when we look at our culture today, we can clearly see this generation suffers from the same indifference to the Christian family. The evidence of this in our own homes is clear; our family is being pulled in a hundred different directions while we watch in disbelief as the precious time we once shared together slips through our fingers. So again I'll ask you the question, what are you doing to intentionally protect family worship in your home?

We understand the importance of our responsibility to train our kids in holiness and even if we don't Proverbs 22:6 is a stern reminder of this responsibility. We understand that our primary duty as husbands and fathers is to shepherd our wives and children. But sometimes knowing the truth and living the truth seem so incompatible with one another.

My prayer for each of us is this; as the activities which pull our families apart begin to pick up and our kids want to be involved in more and more things...that we will do our part (as the shepherds of our home) to protect family worship and discipleship within our homes, at all costs. 

As men, we bear the primary responsibility of shepherding our children's hearts. No doubt, one of the roles of a shepherd is to provide for our children, but our responsibility doesn't end there. We can't simply say, "I put food on the table and a roof over their heads" and then check out on the other responsibilities of a shepherd. A faithful shepherd "protects" the flock God has entrusted to him. To me, this means that we must be intentional about our family worship and discipleship efforts in our home and we must also be willing to put a fence (read: defense) around these things in order that nothing (not even good things) gets in the way of them.

Take a look at an average week for your family. What are you investing the majority of your time into? Maybe it's soccer, baseball, yard work, dance, Scouts, or something else. Now don't get me wrong...these are not bad things in and of themselves...but like anything else, they can easily be distractions from what our primary investment should be as a family, namely, spiritual growth and discipleship. As we continue to let our family worship take a backseat to other activities, we must also recognize that we are still teaching our children something about God in this decision. The problem is, the lesson they are learning from us is that their time with God doesn't really matter that much. And when they leave the home and go to college or somewhere else...these lessons will begin to play out in their own lives and decisions. Homework or time with friends will take priority over the time they invest into their own spiritual growth. When our children grow up and have families of their own, the legacy we left them with in regards to family worship will no doubt play out in their own families. Are we teaching our children well? Are we leaving them a legacy that we can be proud of?

Gentlemen, please don't let this challenge fall on deaf ears. The reality is that laziness or indifference in this area of our shepherding responsibilities could easily have eternal consequences. One day we will give an account to God for how we chose to shepherd the children he placed under our watchcare and protection. So again I'll ask you this question; what are you doing to intentionally protect family worship in your home? Please take the time to honestly answer that question, before it's too late.


For His Glory,

Jason

A Man's Legacy

Men, do you know that right now you developing a personal legacy that will continue to affect people long after you are gone? Question: Is the legacy you are creating what you want to leave with your wife, children and the world? If not, there is no better time to change that legacy than right now.

Men & Idolatry

True Christian Community

True Christian Community (koinonia) says, "I gladly lay down my rights...for your good."

I probably don't have to tell you this, but I'm going to anyway. We are selfish people! Now, before you get offended let me take ownership of my own self-centeredness. We can try to hide behind our "goodness" but deep down if we're willing to be honest with ourselves we have a constant desire to get what we want, and more often than not that desire comes with an expectation that other people meet our needs.

So here's the rub. When you look at your life and, more specifically, your relationships are you in them primarily for what you can give or what you can get? Now before you too quickly provide the cookie-cutter answer that you know is "right" take a moment to dig a bit deeper to find the real answer. It is my personal belief that if (and it is a big if) we are willing to be honest with ourselves our focus in our relationships is usually centered on our needs and desires being met instead of meeting the needs and desires of others. You don't believe me? Here's a quick test. Think back to your past (3) arguments and then answer these questions:

1. What was the argument really about?
2. Did I have expectations of the other person that weren't met?
3. Evaluating the emotions I was feeling at the time, what was the primary emotion behind them?

Again, if we're willing to be honest...I believe our answer to these questions will prove that most of the time it is selfishness that drives the negative interactions we have with others.

For those of you who may still be lost, let me try to make the connection for you. Picture this: a man comes home from work to a house that's less than clean and kids that are going crazy. His wife asks him how his day was and with a shortened tone of voice he responds, "fine." You see where I'm going with this right? More than likely you've been on one side or the other of these types of interactions a hundred times of more. So why was his response back to his wife, short? Was it because he always talks in one word sentences, or was it because his expectation of a clean and less rambunctious house wasn't met? Only he knows the answer to the question, but I'm hoping this analogy helps connect some dots for you.

But for Christians, this way of "doing business" ought not be the case. As Christians, we are not living in relationships built on contracts which say, "if you do this for me then I will do that for you." Instead, we are living in covenantal relationships which say, "I gladly lay down my rights for your good and God's glory." This means that even if others are not meeting our needs, we live in such a way that we strive to bless them and encourage them. This means that even if Christ gave us the freedom and liberty to do certain things (i.e. drink a beer, eat bacon, watch R rated movies or hang out at the beach) if these things cause our brothers or sisters to stumble in the faith, then as a blessing to them...we choose not to partake in these things. It's an intentional effort to live selflessly for the blessing and encouragement of others. This is how Christ lived among his disciples, this is how his disciples and the apostles encouraged the early church to live, and this is how local churches are still called to live, today.

May the words from John Piper and the audio clip from Matt Chandler (below) be the hammer and chisel we need to help us kill the the sin of selfishness that remains in our lives and hearts. May we learn to find joy in living for God's glory and the blessing of others, even at the expense of our own freedoms and expectations.

"The root of our sinfulness is the desire for our own happiness apart from God and apart from the happiness of others in God. All sin comes from a desire to be happy cut off from the glory of God and cut off from the good of others." | John Piper

10 Actions Kids Learn From Their Parent’s Marriage

Here are 10 actions that I know my kids have observed from us over the years:

1. Affection: Cathy & I are very affectionate and I like having my kids see me holding their mom’s hand, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc… as often as I can.

2. Saying “I’m sorry”: I want to be quick to use this phrase and I want my kids to hear me say it (and I have to say it a lot more than Cathy).

3. Affirmation: this is my primary love language so it’s easy for me to dish out encouraging words. My kids get a lot of verbal affirmation, but they also hear me directing it toward my wife (which is really easy).

4. Attraction: I think Cathy is hot… and, I make it known around our family. I’ll regularly say, “Isn’t your mom beautiful?”

5. Time: our kids know that we like to spend time together. When they see us steal time away to sit in the backyard and talk, or go in the hot tub, or go on a date night, or sneak away for the weekend…that’s a good message I want them to see.

6. Laughter: we laugh a lot in our house and my wife’s cute sense of humor cracks me up. I like having my kids see that my wife makes me laugh.

7. Respect: opening the door for Cathy, saying “thank you” and “please” and showing her simple signs of respect.

8. Faith conversations: we’re not always praying in front of our kids, but they hear and see our faith conversations and know that we’re always talking about Jesus and what it means to be a follower.

9. The value of friends: our house is well worn from the traffic of friends in/out of our house. We love having people over and the Fields’ house is a regular hangout for some incredible friends.

10. Servanthood: I know my kids have had a better example in Cathy than with me because she’s the ultimate servant. Always asking, “How can I help? What do you need to make life better?” Serving one another is seen in the daily, little things and there’s many opportunities to serve.

Original Post: http://www.dougfields.com/posts/marriagemodeling/

Marriage Does Not Redeem Sin

"I know...why over 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce: because Christians act as though marriage redeems sin. Marriage does not redeem sin. Only Jesus himself can do that." | Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

Go Back to The Garden

"When it comes to practically every question about God's intentions for men and women, the answer is almost always the same: go back to the garden. When Jesus was asked about marriage (Matt. 19:4-6), He answered from Genesis 2. Likewise, when Paul was discussing the role of women in relation to men (1 Tim. 2:11-14), he found his answers in Genesis 2. The New Testament sees issues of gender and male-female relationships answered in the opening chapters of the Bible: the basic teaching on creation in Genesis 1 and the record of God's specific dealing with the first man and woman in Genesis 2. It is here that we should search for the Bible's most basic teaching on manhood."

Richard D. Phillips. The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men.

God’s Truth: The Only Solid Foundation for Life.

"We have abandoned the role of the formative instruction of our children to those who do not bow in humility before God and his word. Until God is acknowledged for who he says he is, [people] will continue to make moral judgements based upon the quicksand of post-modern, existential thought. The problem lies not with a particular form of education. The problem lies with any form of education that does not see God’s truth as the only solid foundation for life." | Jay Younts

Original Post: Supreme Court: God & Bible are Irrelevant.

How to Draw Others to Christ.

There is, therefore, hardly anything better we can do for those we lead than to love the Lord Jesus Christ supremely and keep our love relationship with Him fresh and growing every day! Out of this blessed and holy love relationship will come a greater manifestation of God’s love in us, shining out to others and drawing them to Christ. | Alexander Strauch

Fathers Are in the Instruction Business

"God has charged fathers with the responsibility to raise their children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers and fathers are not primarily caregivers. They are the holy representatives of the God of Creation to their children. The father’s authority is not authority that has been given to him by the state. The father’s authority is mandated by God and derived from God." | Jay Younts

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