The Joy of Marriage

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor. (Ephesians 5:25–27)

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands and wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse.

There is scarcely a more hedonistic passage in the Bible than the one on marriage in Ephesians 5:25–30. Husbands are told to love their wives the way Christ loved the church.

How did he love the church? “He gave himself up for her.” But why? “That he might sanctify and cleanse her.” But why did he want to do that? “That he might present the church to himself in splendor”!

Ah! There it is! “For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). What joy? The joy of marriage to his bride, the church.

Jesus does not want a dirty and unholy wife. Therefore, he was willing to die to “sanctify and cleanse” his betrothed so he could present to himself a wife “ in splendor.” He gained the desire of his heart by giving himself up for the good of his bride.

John Piper - Desiring God

God is Always Up to Something Good

Trials sometimes make us doubt God's presence, but we must be careful not to view them as evidence of God absence, but instead we should cling to the truth in God's word which says,

Romans 5:1-5 (ESV | emphasis added)

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

The past year has been one that has stretched me in ways I've never been stretched before. I've been tested in my faith, my theology, and my character. Many of these trials have come in shapes that I never would have expected, where God...in his providence...chose to pin some of the things I value most in my life against each other. While at first glance these situations could easily be viewed as the work of the enemy, hindsight has proven them to be the work of God. You see, the truth is that even the things the enemy attempts to use for his own evil gain, sift through the sovereign hands of God...and God is always up to something good in the life of the Christian. God works tirelessly, in the lives of his elect, to conform them into the image of his Son, Jesus Christ. And regardless if it's a trial or a blessing, the aim in God's act is always the same.

I'm not sure where this post will find you in your faithwalk and Christian journey, but I'm hopeful that as you read it and (hopefully) listen to the song that I've included (below)...that your heart will be filled with joy at the work God is doing in your life. I pray that God will grant each of us the ability to look beyond our current circumstances and by his grace will give us the ability to "taste and see that the LORD is good" (Psalm 34:8). I pray that each of us will have enough faith in God's goodness and sovereignty over all things, that we'll be able to trust in God's word and cling to the promise that, 

He who began a good work in [us] will be faithful in carrying that work on to it's completion. | (Phil. 1:6)

“Though You Slay Me” (featuring John Piper) from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Holiness and Submission to God's Word

Called to Be Holy | 1 Peter 1:13-16 (ESV)

13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 

10 Actions Kids Learn From Their Parent’s Marriage

Here are 10 actions that I know my kids have observed from us over the years:

1. Affection: Cathy & I are very affectionate and I like having my kids see me holding their mom’s hand, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc… as often as I can.

2. Saying “I’m sorry”: I want to be quick to use this phrase and I want my kids to hear me say it (and I have to say it a lot more than Cathy).

3. Affirmation: this is my primary love language so it’s easy for me to dish out encouraging words. My kids get a lot of verbal affirmation, but they also hear me directing it toward my wife (which is really easy).

4. Attraction: I think Cathy is hot… and, I make it known around our family. I’ll regularly say, “Isn’t your mom beautiful?”

5. Time: our kids know that we like to spend time together. When they see us steal time away to sit in the backyard and talk, or go in the hot tub, or go on a date night, or sneak away for the weekend…that’s a good message I want them to see.

6. Laughter: we laugh a lot in our house and my wife’s cute sense of humor cracks me up. I like having my kids see that my wife makes me laugh.

7. Respect: opening the door for Cathy, saying “thank you” and “please” and showing her simple signs of respect.

8. Faith conversations: we’re not always praying in front of our kids, but they hear and see our faith conversations and know that we’re always talking about Jesus and what it means to be a follower.

9. The value of friends: our house is well worn from the traffic of friends in/out of our house. We love having people over and the Fields’ house is a regular hangout for some incredible friends.

10. Servanthood: I know my kids have had a better example in Cathy than with me because she’s the ultimate servant. Always asking, “How can I help? What do you need to make life better?” Serving one another is seen in the daily, little things and there’s many opportunities to serve.

Original Post: http://www.dougfields.com/posts/marriagemodeling/

A Challenge for Men

It is a grand thing to be a man created in the image of God, and it is an equally grand thing to be a woman created in the image of God. But since the burden of primary responsibility lies on the men — let me challenge them mainly:

Men, do you have a moral vision for your families, a zeal for the house of the Lord, a magnificent commitment to the advancement of the kingdom, an articulate dream for the mission of the church and a tenderhearted tenacity to make it real? You can't lead a godly women without this. She is a grand being!

There are hundreds of such men in the church today. And more are needed. When the Lord visits his church and creates a mighty army of deeply spiritual, humble, strong, Christlike men committed to the Word of God and the mission of the church, the vast army of women will rejoice over the leadership of these men and enter into a joyful partnership. And that will be a grand thing. | John Piper

Source: God Created Man Male and Female: What Does It Mean to Be Complementarian?

Sanctification Comes Through Submission to God's Word

17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth. | John 17:17-19 (ESV)

Sanctification is the great quest in the Christian Journey. It's the purification process God uses to "make us holy as he is holy." The process is intentional in it's efforts to make us more and more like Christ, in order that we might rightly image God to the unbelieving world through the way we live our transformed & transforming lives. Another important thing for us to remember is that sanctification is a lifelong process. However, this can't be used as an excuse to continue living in sin. While we should always be growing, the tangible evidences of the Holy Spirit working in our lives is a total dying to self and a desire to annihilate the sin in our lives. As we are growing in holiness, we should be equally growing in our hatred for the things that God hates (sin) and love for the things that God loves. A natural warning sign for anyone is if they have become indifferent to any sin that remains in their life. As we grow in holiness, we should also be growing in our hatred for the sin that remains in our life and a passion to make war against it...to kill it before it kills us.

"The process of sanctification involves both a horizontal-relational component (separation from participating in and being influenced by worldliness and sin) and a moral component (growth in holiness or moral purity in attitudes, thoughts, and actions)" (ESV Study Bible). 

This occurs in the truth, that is, as Christians believe, think, and live according to God's word (the truth). The Bible is comprised of the "truth" that Jesus was referring to when he said, your word is truth.

"The interesting thing about the Greek word used here is that it's not an adjective (meaning “your word is true”) but a noun (alētheia, “truth”). The implication here is that God’s Word does not simply conform to some other external standard of “truth,” but that it is truth itself; that is, it embodies truth and it therefore is the standard of truth against which everything else must be tested and compared. (ESV Study Bible)

So what do we gain from this? For me the answer is simple. God's word is truth and our sanctification is dependant on our submission to this truth. Sanctification is a lifelong process, but our growth will be directly tied to the way in which we submit our lives to God's word (i.e. the Bible). If we submit only portions of our lives to God's truth, then only portions of our lives will be sanctified. If we submit ourselves, fully, to God's word, then we give the Holy Spirit complete access to make us holy as God is holy. This should be the aim of every believer and God will bless us exponentially as we lay down our lives, completely, as living sacrifices for his glory. Why is it important to read the word? Because as Jesus said, God's word is the truth and the primary method he uses to sanctify us.

Finally, if Jesus' words are true, that God's word is the primary method he uses for our sanctification, then how would we respond to the following questions:

1. Do I truly believe that God's word is the truth? (Do I submit to God's word or to some other external standard of truth?)
2. Have I truly surrendered my life, fully, to God's word? If so, what is the tangible evidence that this is true?
3. If God's word is the primary means of my sanctification, am I investing the time that I should be into the spiritual disciple of reading, memorizing and meditating on God's word? (How much time do I spend each day/week doing this, compared to how much time I spend fulfilling the desires of the world and/or my flesh?)
4. If I truly desire to grow in holiness, then what areas of my life do I need to surrender to God in order that God might sanctify them? (examples: control, pride, anger, lust, insecurity, self-righteousness, sloth etc.)

Seek to Serve

"Members of the older generation need to take it upon themselves to pursue younger Christians to mentor and disciple them in the faith. Let’s be honest. They might not be beating down the door to sit at your feet. They might not look to you with adoring eyes, amazed by your knowledge. You might not be a “cool” old person. Don't let that stop you. If you're motivated by the Gospel, it shouldn't stop you. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about the Savior. It’s about what He has done. Whether or not you have the added fuel of feeling wanted, needed, and in demand, you can go out and seek to serve." | Joshua Harris